How is the MS?

Well, it depends the day you ask me.  I have actually been planning to write this post for some time. Some days I was going to title it "MS Sucks".  Other days I was going to title it "In God's hands".  It just depended on my attitude that specific day.

So, if you did not know by now, I am no longer working.  I took a year off for the 2010-2011 school year (one year after being diagnosed with MS).  I went back to work, full-time, for the 2011-2012 school year.  Within a month of working I started to realize that my fatigue was really impacting my job and home life.  So, I asked my principal if I could work part-time starting in the Spring semester.  I found even with working part-time I was hurting.  Not just with the fatigue, but actually physically hurting.  I had such terrible nerve pain.   In March I had to give my letter of intent for the upcoming school year.  I prayed asking God for guidance.  I enjoyed working.  I enjoyed teaching.  I enjoyed the students.  But, my family life was being negatively impacted.  And in that I got my answer.  There were times I had to actually tell Ally and Ryan not to touch me because the pain would radiate to wherever they were putting pressure on me.  So I put my resignation letter in, finished the school year, and became a stay at home mom.

Staying home this time is different from when I took the year off because it seems so permanent.  But, I am fortune that I do not need to work.  Henry's job provides nicely for our family.  So how is the MS?  Well, I definitely do not have as much energy.  I tire out very easily.  Some days are harder than others.  I try to go for a walk, around the neighborhood a few times of the week.  But there have been a few days here and there where I walk about half a block and have to turn around because my body is exhausted (even though I woke up just 2 hours earlier).  I take a nap almost everyday.  My new neurologist has prescribe something for the nerve pain, which is definitely helping.  But, I just constantly feel like I can not accomplish as much as I want to.  And my memory and thought process  just seems so cloudy.

But like I said, I am fortunate that I can stay home.  I am fortunate that my MS is not as bad as it could be.  I can still drive (which a friend of mine with MS can not).  I volunteer at the kids school to stay busy. I am still volunteering with AWANA.  And I have such caring and loving friends and family.  Blessed.

I just need to remember the lyrics to one of my favorite songs, My Savior, My God, whenever I am struggling.

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned

I only know at His right hand, Stands one who is my Savior